“Jesus.” There’s just something about bringing him into the conversation and identifying yourself with him that changes everything. People don’t think anything of the distant, loosely grasped, word “God,” but when “Jesus” is mentioned, the conversation’s tone changes. At least it did the other night.

Angela was our waitress last night. I was hosting some guests to a favorite restaurant of ours and i wasn’t sure how the night would go. Normally, when people find out what kind of work i do, they slightly roll their eyes and quickly change the subject. When i first met angela, she didn’t do that, she just laughed in my face and said something like, “come on, you can’t be serious!?” So, when i noticed she was going to be our waitress for the evening, i wasn’t that stoked. She kept coming by our table and chatting with us. At first, i thought it was because she was enjoying the chance to practice her english. But there was a point where she opened up to us that made me think there was something else going on. “My boyfriend is really sick and i’m really worried about it. He’s been to several doctors and they haven’t helped him.”

My teammate Marcus had been here the night before, and when she mentioned this to him, he told her that we would be praying for her and her boyfriend. She mentioned this to us and when she said “pray” she had a kind of smirk on her face as if she were referencing some form of an African superstition. She said that her boyfriend sent a message to her today saying that he was feeling better. “I think your prayers are working better than mine,” She said.

“I’m a buddhist. and i pray differently than you do. I don’t believe there is a God that responds to prayer, but just myself, and the prayer is just for me, like looking in a mirror.” At this point, my guest chimed in and brought the conversation into a more “evangelistic focus” saying something to the effect of, “well, you need to keep searching until you find the truth.” She began to put her tray of dishes down on our table, “Truth, how do you know when you have it?” My guest prodded a bit further, “Well, we believe in Jesus, and that when he said that he’s the truth, he meant it.” The waitress began to pick up her tray again and her eyes darted away, looking to leave this conversation. But something made her put the tray back down and open up more. “You know, i don’t know alot about this Jesus, but if you have a book or something, i would like to read it.”

Upon paying the bill at the counter, i asked if she would like to go out for some coffee and keep talking. This afternoon, marcus, she, and i, met for coffee. I brought a bible, and we talked. it was weird. weird in a good way though. we discussed some of her objections to faith in Jesus, but in the end, she was encouraged, actually excited to dig in to John’s take on Jesus. She asked me if i would be willing to read some of her stuff and attend some of her buddhist meetings. I said I would love to.

Deep down, I have doubted for so long that God really wants to move, that moments like these actually surprise me. My faith grows so shallow that fear wins out many times. But there is something about that name that “drops our guard” like it did that night in Gethsemane and we are bowled over with surprise. I pray that God continues to use me, this shallow faith, for his glory. Amen.